HHGTTG Book 5 + e

Time, as has been observed by most observers, is stubbornly unidirectional; that is, until you muck around with improbability drives, temporal warp fields, and a number of other wholly uninteresting time-related phenomena. But even with those it seems time makes every effort to go forward, so that it is indeed true that, "the show must go on," the Universe must end, and planets must be demolished. Time, it seems, is determined to get on with it.

Unless, of course, you're Arthur Dent. Time, for him, never seems to end-even when there is apparently no other option but to snuff it.

There are many reasons for this being the case, but not one of them is fully comprehended by any single entity and these reasons therefore remain quite inexplicable.

It must then be taken as an axiom of the Universe that Arthur Dent will survive. Indeed, Arthur Dent's ability to avoid the end of time is perhaps the very thing that keeps ending him up in trouble. It is, in fact, this special and unique property of this otherwise non-unique Earthman that brings us here.

Arthur
Ford?

Ford
Yeah?

Arthur
Ford, how did we survive that?

Ford
Haven't a clue. (beat) Zaphod?

Arthur
Why'd you say "Zaphod"?

Ford
Dunno, thought he might be here.

Zaphod
I am here-don't know how I got here though. Oh, whatever man

Arthur
Trillian?

Trillian
You know Arthur, it's best to just accept some things

Marvin
I know

Arthur
Marvin!? How did you get here?

Marvin
Just don't even ask

Arthur
And where is here anyway? Why is it so dark?

Ford
The lights are probably off.

Arthur
Computer, lights.

(beat)

Zaphod
Nothing seems to have happened man

Arthur
Pity. Usually works in Sci-Fi movies

Ford
There's a switch over here. You keep babbling and I'll flick it.

(the lights come on)

Arthur
Quick, shut them off. I don't think I can handle the sight.

Ford
What? It's only a pile of mattresses.

Marvin
Zem. And Zem. Enviously dead.